Ramblings - Imperfect In Spirit Ation
So many thoughts rattling about lately; so many it seems that I fell into a lull in the sense I let a lot of the business pressure go. It is okay as I needed to step back a little and do more work on me and who I am. I still have goals for the things I do, but at the end of it all I want and need is to feel like that person in my imagination. You know the one, that perfect person you see in the brief glances we have into other people's lives. The one’s where they have it all and are always happy.
I know that person doesn’t exist in any of us. I have a saying “I don’t want to be perfect. Remember what we did to the last supposedly perfect person” But that doesn’t mean I don’t strive for that feeling of being of worth and value. I am one that wants my life to have meaning. I do not want to be seen as perfect, only a person who tries no matter the outcome. I want to feel fully alive.
I recently finished Wayne Dyer’s book,” Living an Inspired Life” As I read the book I kept seeing and admiring his intellect, his inner knowing of himself and his place in the world. There are many excerpts of when he was less than perfect in some way and that it was okay. This was someone that was truly connected to Spirit and the world about him.
I think now on the part of the book where he speaks of going out to run errands, and how he saw it as an opportunity to give back. And it all starts with the simple request of asking to be of service and to see the opportunity to do so. It was simple everyday things. Giving a ride, taking a moment to speak to someone, stopping to help and the truly marvelous thing was that he be guided and was open to whatever may come.
I have also been taking courses with Camel Joy Baird and she too has a saying, “Nervous to Service” This too is along the line of being imperfectly you. Our ego’s voice can become so loud that we get caught in cycles that blind us to the possibilities around us to allow our higher soul’s purpose shine through. I have been there, and still visit from time to time.
We wrap ourselves in the blanket of not being good enough, of disappointing those around us and in the things we lack so much so we stall ourselves and give up on seeing what value we have to give to others. Why do we do these things to ourselves and in the process, others? Because we need to is the answer.
Your higher spirit self needs to be heard, and by bringing you to a place of stillness it opens the door to make choices that ego has thrown a blanket over. It is a lesson in faith and trust, not only in Spirit but in our selves. We always are in a place of giving and receiving so once that comes to you it is more a case of throwing caution to the wind and doing because it is meant to be done. We fail a lot of the time to see that when we give to someone from our heart we are responded to with feelings of growth, love and accomplishment. We feel In Spirit Ation.
The other day on Facebook I was greeted by a post in one of my local groups by someone asking for help for a family that is struggling. As I read all those giving from their cupboards and their wallets I am moved and saddened at the same time. Let me be honest, it takes a long time to become established as a Medium and Psychic and the rewards are often not measure in monetary gains. I wanted to help, but my means are slim. Instead of just sighing, saying a prayer and moving on I just asked Spirit, “What can I give? How can I be of service? “The next thing I know I am posting that all I have to offer is child care if they need it to get where they need to be. I am home; I have a child of my own and I understand that perhaps just knowing that there is someone able to be there to support that will give them the inspiration to keep going.
In just by doing this small thing I can feel Spirit responding. Just by the way my heart is lightened and being able to step outside my own fears and worries if only for a moment. I am inspired to write, to go and do. It is like a small ember being blown upon gently to reignite the light I want within my being. It is a renewal of my faith and belief in something. And we all need to believe in something. We need to feel inspired.
I am often told I am a good person, almost too sensitive to the needs and wants of others. At times this brings its own challenges as I can be taken advantage of. I have been criticized and demeaned for being so open, or too perfect. I have often been called mean, unfeeling or even aggressive when I talk about something I believe in passionately. I have stumbled at times by neglecting my own needs in regards to my health and well-being, but I am getting better.
I am far from perfect but what I am seeking is a vision of myself where all is in peace and balance. Where I can learn and teach, be free to express who I am while seeing the same in others. I feel Spirit and energy and emotions and at times that is over whelming, but I would rather that over the shadow of ego holding me in a box of negativity.
I guess from all this rambling writing it is a simple message we all need to hear some times. We have a lot to be thankful for. There is always a way to give and grow. The person you want to be happens when you let go of ego and just be them from your heart and soul. And lastly, it is a wonderful thing to be imperfectly you. Celebrate that.
All my love from my heart,
Mary
